Purple Watermelon: Opposite Hope

I'm feeling down. I want to give up. I want to quit school. I want an apartment and be terribly poor and work all day at a cafe I love. I want to give up on love and hope. I want to be alone, but not lonely. I want to cook breakfast every morning and even have things like honey and orange juice. I want to bake in my own kitchen and clean my own dishes by hand. I want to paint my own walls. I want to run away to a nameless land, but not imaginary. I want to eat food when I want to eat it. I want to go out late at night for no particular reason. I want to be friends with strangers in a city, but they won't cling to me. I want to eat something with substance that doesn't come out of a box. I want to have a crush on a cute boy and never tell him my name, but imagine we are in love. Then, I want him to move away. I want a dog.

An Old English Sheepdog...