"Do you know the heart? Do you that it can be destroyed? You can make it go away .You can make it shrivel up and die" -The Czars
This is it. I'm done for. This is the end of things.
That's all I can image. I'm so lost now. I'm so lonely. I cry alone every night, wondering what happened to me. Something has changed me, and I hate it. I can't live like this. I just want to die.
She's so sad. That's too bad.
The only bits of my sadness you know of is the taste I give you through transparent words, telling you things you can't imagine anyway. The utter loneliness I have, I can't even tell you.
There's nothing left that is happy here. I can't see it. "The girl who lost her smile"
Everything is a mess now, and I don't want to be here. Everyday is a tragedy, and I can't do that anymore.
I get worried about things that I know are unreasonable. I'm scared that people I love are going to die all of a sudden. I get feelings like something terrible is coming. There is an axe that hangs over me at all times, waiting. I want to be comforted so bad, but there's no one who will, or can. No one can help me.
Sometimes I stop breathing without notice.
This life has been permanently damaged.
I'm empty. You've scrapped out the last of my peace from my soul. I've been totally torn apart, and I don't think things will ever be the same.
I feel like a mental case. I thought I could be something, but now, instead, I'm just a crazy fool that can't function in a regular society. They'll have to just keep my in a cozy room where nothing bad can happen to me. They'll lie to me to make me believe everything is alright. They'll tell me sweet things like, "You can do it," and make me believe life is really worth living.
When something is shattered, you can never find all the peices. Instead, you just put up with having emptiness or a cracked surface, or you just throw it away.
I'm done with this. I quit. I give up now. Isn't that enough? I'm so scared.
I don't know what else I can say. I've dried up completely.
This is all I have left.
I can't go back.
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