I didn't mean for my next entry to be like this. I've really wanted to write about all the excitement and fun that has been going on for me. But, right now, I just need to vent I suppose. I'll get back to happiness later.
For now, I feel like I'm already a failure. I've missed a few classes so early in the semester. Classes with professors that don't care about me much. I'm just a student, not a human girl. I can't seem to take my classes terribly serious. English is okay, and philosophy is too, but other than that, I can't really force myself to care.
Some parts of my life are being ignored too. I guess that is what is nagging at me right now. Like Anthony said, I need some Me time to reflect.
Don't give me answers. Don't give me riddles or force yourself to be sympathetic. Listen to me.
One thing that I found is that I miss Jessica. Ever since I got here I've felt like something is missing. There is an emptiness that is indescribable. At night, when I'm alone and unsure of myself, I wish she was around to talk to. I feel like.... someone took my partner away. Things just aren't right, but I guess I should have expected that.
Things aren't bad here. I'm just troubled and need to spew for a little while. When I write again I'll tell you about my adventures.
I finally shed a tear today. That's one thing that makes me feel a little less like a failure.
The strange thing is that the things keeping me alive are in turn killing me now.
Ugh, sounds so emo. I'm just troubled... Life isn't awful. Life has finally become my friend again. Just, for now I feel like I could function better if I was disconnected from everyone. Free to come and go, maybe?
Last night I got painty.
"COME BE THE MADMAN WITH US."
-Lisa
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