An Epic Adventure - Part Two

So! On with the Epic Adventure. You might have to fill in some gaps with your imagination, because it's been so long now that I've forgotten some details.

After we left Roji's, we pursued our next task; we had to find a way to get to Carousel. At the time we didn't really know anything about the bus runs (which we still don't really know, but we have a better idea at least). We stood around at the corner on Salina (the most disgusting part of Downtown because that's where all the buses meet, hence, all the people) and looked around until we found a bus schedule sign. It looked like there wouldn't be a bus coming for quite a while, so we just ....well..... stood there. Ari had to keep reminding me that I had to look like I owned Syracuse, otherwise I'd probably get ripped off or someone would pick my pockets or something.

There was actually a guy who approached Ari and asked, quite strangely, if he could have some change for the bus. He wasn't just your regular, absent-minded hard-worker. No, he wasn't any of these at all. He was... probably drugged up at the time. I can't quite remember exactly what happened, but somehow he ended up giving Ari some Candian coins, those of which I'm not even sure exist anymore. It was really strange. I don't quite know what to make of it.

Eventually we got on the bus and rode doooown to the mall. What did we do there? Wandered around, mostly. We managed to visit two out of three(?) chocolate shops where we bought some expensive sweets. Ari bought one of each of the little chocolate samples, and a 1/4 pound of silk chocolate, and a fancy chocolate bar. I got a mint choco bar (which melted, but was delicious anyway), and a crazy looking choco-pop with sprinkles. Yuuum.

We also visited Hot Topic, which is becoming a regular place for me. I never used to go near that store because I thought it was all gothic, vampire, gross stuff. Which a lot of it is. However, I have managed to find things I really like in there, like hello kitty products, and chococat things. I was quite pleased with the variety of Super Mario/Sanrio things.

I know it wasn't that day, but at some other time we went to Carousel, Asher called me when I was in Borders. He said they were going through Syracuse and thought they would stop by my dorm to see me. I told him we were at the mall, so he and Erika stopped there instead! I suddenly became very excited!! Actually, when my phone started ringing, I couldn't find it. I was looking all over in my bag. One of the Borders workers came over in my flustered state too(which I thought was quite rude, actually) asking the basic, "Can I help you?" It wasn't that he wanted to help me because I was getting confused, he just thought we were loitering. Eventually I discovered my phone was in my pocket though.

So, we ended up meeting in the arcade and I played a round of DDR with Erika. She had to convince Asher to hold her bag with Sid in it(so cute!).

I'm always slightly devastated when I see them and then they leave. It was especially hard that time because Ari seemed really mad. I was really annoyed with her at the time because she didn't really seem willing to communicate with my people. I thought she must have hated them, so I was ready to push her into moving traffic, especially what she said that her dog was cuter than Sid. I later found out though that she thought Asher was "hardcore".

Anyway, back to the adventure.

Alright, we hit Carousel. Next stop, Shoppingtown.

We got back on the bus to downtown, and from there managed to get dropped off at....the Han's stop? I really can't remember now. Why in the world did we take that bus? And why did we get off there? There seemed to be a hole in my memory now, so sorry I didn't get to this sooner.

SOMEHOW we got off a bus SOMEWHERE and then realized that we didn't know how to get to Shoppingtown. We started walking again. Why? .....It must have been heat stroke. We were beginning to panic a little because it was getting dark and standing at a bus stop that didn't have a schedule wasn't the best place to be. We should have been keeping track of how many cars went by and honked or whistled. It was disturbing, actually.

Ari's ankle started hurting once we started walking to what we thought might be the direction of Shoppingotown. So, we took a quick break.

And then the bus drove by....

After that minor devastation, we just kept going. And yes, we walked all the way there. What did we do there? I don't know. I don't think it mattered anyway. All the food there was closed, and we were really hungry though.

Again, there's a hole in my memory. But somehow, either by calling Adrienne for a ride, or taking another bus, we got back to school.

It was quite victorious. We felt like we could take on anything. We would never complain about the 6 minute walk from St. Mary's to Grewen ever again.

There is no moral to this story, although I feel like there should be. Oh well.


Next time: Some rants, desires, and a Third Adventure.

-Lisa

Quick Commercial Break

While the second part of the Epic journey is coming up(when I get a chance), I had to squeeze this post inbetween.

For the past few days I've been feeling quite ill and one of the biggest factor of this is dizziness. I left my Japanese class early in a panic, frightening most everyone in the class. Walter-sensei told me I looked "very very very pale."

Besides that episode, I've been getting dizzy on and off since and that also comes with a side of bad headaches. That night I didn't go to algebra or Tae Kwon Do either.

The leads me to the real story here. Tae Kwon Do. I love that place. With all the stress and fear that I wrap around it, I still love it. Everyone should be involved in a martial arts class.

I love it because the art is simply amazing and it is such an outstanding feeling to be able to do those things. I really try to push myself in there because I'm very serious about it. I want to get it right and master it. That's mostly why it's so stressful for me.

Secondly, I love it because the atmosphere. There is so much respect in that room. The formalities make me shiver with excitement on the inside. The idea of bowing to your superiors makes me smile everytime I think about it. Am I too old fashioned?
But honestly, I bow to Master every chance I get :]

So, getting to my point, something I don't do very often, I want to talk about the people there and about how caring they are.

I made myself go to TKD class tonight even thought I wasn't going to participate. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the intense training when I was feeling so unbalanced and naseous, however I also knew that missing two classes in a row would make it extrememly difficult to catch up. Testing is coming up in October, you know. So my solution was to at least watch.

Oh, and we got our uniforms tonight!! Yay!

When I arrived I asked Nick, the president, if it would be alright for me to just watch from the side. He said, "Of course! Health comes first." I thought it would probably be fine, but with all of the rules in that room, I wanted to make sure I wasn't showing any disrespect to anyone.

So, I changed into my uniform(next time I'll change before I get there. The girl's locker room is frightening) and then sat against the wall in our training room(which is really just the other side of the basketball court). When the Master called for attention her immediatley came to me when I didn't get up in line and asked if I was alright.

That alone gave me a twinge of bright joy. The Master is my hero :]

What's even better is he didn't just say, "Hey, are you alright? Oh, okay," He listened to my explaination and was proud of me for coming to watch. He smiled at me and said he was glad I was there.

Am I just a little girl?

After a long while everyone took a break and again the Master came to me and expressed his feelings of appreciation for me making the effort to come even just to watch. When he approached me he gave me a sort of sad face which I interpreted as him feeling bad that I was ill.

When groups started forming up again for some personal training one of the older blackbelt members also asked about my health. Not long after that another blackbelt, a younger one(20's), came up to me and also expressed kindness to me. His name is Brian and I watched him through most of the class because he really knows what he's doing and I could see him teaching his partner techniques as they trained together.

It was really cute actually because he crouched right down to my level on the floor to talk to me. He's extremely tall and skinny so I wonder if that made it all the cuter. He also said it was good of me to come to watch.

When the class had finally ended, Master came towards me because his things were near, so I bowed to him and thanked him. For some reason I think he gets a couple internal laughs when I bow to him. Maybe he thinks it's adorable for a little girl to be so sincere everytime?

At that point he proclaimed that we needed to have a group hug.

I want to brag about it. The Master hugged me!

I'm just silly aren't I...?

:]

I love that place.

-Lisa

An Epic Adventure

Oh my. College. That's where I am. This is going to be a long one folks.

Since I've already given you a taste of the beginning, I'm going to tell you more about my classes, friends, and environment. This could take a couple days to complete even.

Let's talk about classes first. My classes are all the first semester, boring, painful, useless classes. Like... math. And AVS. And World Civ. To say the least, I hate most of my classes. I hope I pass so I won't have to take them again.

Isn't that awful? I honestly don't know if I can pass these classes. Sure they're hard, and sure there's a lot of homework. But I've been in harder classes. The thing is that we only get about two tests throughout the course which makes up most of our overall grade. These are courses that I know nothing about too. Andrea was just up here helping me with my math and yet, I still can't do it. We managed to finish the homework, but I won't be able to do it later.

I'm taking an Elementary Japanese class though. It's very hard, but I love it. I'm surprised that I can actually do it. It's mostly my stubbornness though. I don't want to fall behind so I'm studying all the time. I can do this!

Walter-sensei is so funny! She's my favorite.

Math is a real pain. It always has been, but I figured it wouldn't be so bad here since I was only taking Intro to Algebra.

It turns out that I don't remember anything about .. what were they ... numbers. My professor is foreign so none of the students really understand what she's saying, and she also declared that we can't use calculators.

I really expect to fail. I don't want to have to take this course again, but I don't see how I'll ever be able to get by.

I was planning on getting a tutor, but with my new job as Lab Tech. I don't really have much time for that considering I also have other homework to do. So Ari has been helping me out. Hopefully I'll be able to remember something what it comes time for a test.

The other day Prof. Rine yelled at everyone for not doing the reading. This also happened to have been the assignment I wrote to her about because I didn't understand what she wanted(and apparently no one else did) but she never wrote back to me. In the end she made the decree that from now on there was going to be a quiz every friday. Lovely. I guess she never considered that this was the first time we'd ever done any class assignment like this and that people may have been confused, especially since we're freshmen. Maybe I'm just being annoyed.

I'm involved in a Tae Kwon Do class that meets every Tuesday and Thursday. Everytime I know I have class I panic a little. Everyone seems to catch on so fast that, again, I'm just trying hard not to fall behind. I love the group training. I enjoy being among a large group of people who are all doing the same thing, and I work hard at getting every movement right. When it comes to partner training with blocking or aiming, I get tense and discouraged. But now I do have a sense of why. You see, for every partner section I've been paired up with a newbie, like myself. We just flail around, hoping we don't look like fools. That's not very fun. But last class I was actually paired up with the Master (and I almost had heart failure) because we had an odd number and there wasn't anyone else my size.

That was amazing! He very graciously took it at my speed and helped me to correct my stance and movements. He's my hero.

The Master is really one of the coolest people I've ever met. I love how he gets to excited about this everyday. After every new move he shows us he gets this childlike smirk on his face and you can see the energy he's molding.

The class is a lot of fun, and yet, it scares me.

Time to introduce you to my friends.

I have two, possibly three. Andrea is the only friend I have with a strong bond here. Her nickname is Ari, which I have yet to call her to her face, but whenever I talk about her I've been mostly saying Ari.

She's a little crazy. She's an anime-freak and very anti-girly/makeup/preppy andything. I have yet to see her wear blue jeans or anything that doesn't have skulls on it though. Oh, and stripes and polka-dots make her sick.

We have a lot in common, and yet, we're very different. But, we're good friends. I'm glad she's around.

Then there's Jim. His real name is James. He's... straaange. I like to have them both around because then they somewhat balance each other. But, I'm getting used to it. He can drink three cups of juice and milk in less than fifteen seconds. Actually, next time we should time him. I can't help but wonder if he's vegan. Him and Ari keep yelling at me for eating so much candy and junk food. Haha. I can't quite figure him out.

Adrienne is mostly their friend, so it looks like we'll be spending some time together too. She lives on the same floor with me (the very hot fifth floor) and we're in World Civ together. I hate how all of my friends are always so smart. Am I really that stupid? Or am I attracted to geniuses? Or are geniuses attracted to me?m Anyway, she seems to be cool. In a sort of geeky sense. But we're all geeks. She has a caaaaar...

I wonder if I should put my RA down as a friend? Not yet. But I like her, and she likes me. Yesterday was her birthday and I left her presents. She's gorgeous and very nice. :] Emelin. Isn't that a cool name?

The Epic Journey

Saturday was a day where an epic journey was just waiting to happen. Ari and I took on that challange and rode on to victory!

We really just wanted to take the day and explore the town a little and get some necessary things done.

Our list of places to go was as follows...

Price Chopper
Walmart
Shoppingtown Mall
Roji Tea Lounge
Han's Oriental Grocery
Carousel Center

We knew that was a lot to do in one day, and we knew we'd be tired, but we never imagined it would be that bad.

Since we weren't sure about bus schedules either, we were mostly guessing all day. We were never quite sure where we were or where we were going.

The day started around 11:30 when Ari and I went to brunch. We ran into some friends of her's and ate with them. They seemed pretty normal... I suppose. The only one who really said much was the gay guy. That was a little awkward?

Then we headed out. That was around 12:00

Our first stop was Han's which we thought at the time was a long way from the campus. If you take the right road, it really isn't that bad of a walk.

Han's is AMAZING! It has been years since I was last in an asian grocer, so I was really excited. I got lots of caaaaandy. Ari and I discussed the fact that we're going to flunk out of college because of our boyfriend Han's.

This is White Rabbit Creamy Candy. It is very creamy and chewy. There is a wrapper around the candy, besides the outside wrapper, but this is edible. It doesn't have any taste and it like a very thin parchment. It's apparently made of sticky rice.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Rabbit_Creamy_Candy




A Red Bean Cake. There's really beans on the inside. This was quite an interesting one. At first I didn't like it because I don't really like beans anyway. But I think if I'd eaten the whole thing I might have grown to like it. I find the cake texture fascinating. The thing is that it's supposed to be refridgerated, but I don't have one. That's why most of it had to get tossed.



Ahh, Melon Candy. This was one of the first asian hard candies I'd ever had. I remember being at Asher's first apartment and Emily gave me one of these. Delicious. Precious. Yummy! This should definately be in one of the top five!




This seems to be some kind of Korean candy. It's a teeny biscut stick with a mushroom chocolate top. They even have faces! It's been so hot lately though that the faces melted off. The chocolate on these are the best I've ever had!



This is Strawberry Ramune. It's a fizzy drink that's in a fancy glass bottle with a cute fruity guy on the label. There's even indents on the top for your pointer finger and thumb to grip the bottle. The thing that's really amazing is the marble stopper. That's the glass ball that's sitting at the top of the bottle. The marble is the seal and to open it you have to press down on this cap-like plastic thing to pop the marble out of place. I now have a Melon flavored one and also a peach. Yes, I'm saving them. I like the sound it makes when you drink from it because the marble moves around. Clink!

Botan Rice Candy. I actually haven't tried this yet, but this is another candy with an edible rice wrapper. I wonder why candies have these wrappers? There's no taste and it melts right away. It is intriguing though. This package comes with a sticker!

Yan Yan is another sweet that I haven't had in years and was introduced to it by Erika. It's just like pocky, but the stick is bigger and you dip it in the frosting yourself. I personally like this one a lot. Strawberry is my favorite!




Konpeito! The sugar candy. I actually learned about this watching Stellvia of the Universe. For a while now I had been importing packages from WizzyWigs and the candies were much smaller. I like these because you can just pop one in your mouth and be sugarfied for a long time.



Petit Choco is apparently just a box with little pouches of various chocolate in them. I've only tried one so far and they were basically M&M's. The ones in the pink pouch I've actually had before, and they are outstanding. This one was pricey, but I had to try it at least once.

That's the end of the Han's trip, but that was just the beginning of the rest of the day. Fortunatly, Price Chopper was in view when we exited Han's. We also discovered that there is a bus stop place right outside of Han's. That made us happy because that means it will be easily accessible in the winter time when we can't walk there.

So, we made it to Price Chopper and got some water for our trip since it was probably 100 degrees out that day. Ari also stopped at the pharmacy to put in a perscription slip which we had to come back to pick up later.

Since it already occured to us that we didn't know where Washington street was, we thought it would be best to ask. So we did. We asked about three people who said they either had no idea what street that was or they weren't from around this area. Eventually some lady said it was the opposite direction we were going, left, up a monsterous hill, left, left, and left.

We exited the store and continued on our way, ignoring those crazy directions and hoping we would stumble upon the lounge soon. We were pooped. But we weren't going to give up so easily!

This next section of the trip was quite long. It was so hot and sticky out that the few times the sun snuck behind the clouds we felt mildly rejuvinated. Once in a while the sidewalk would mysteriously disappear, and more than once we were honked at or called at by some passerby in a vehicle.

Going down Erie was also discovered that there are quite a few Japanese/Chinese resturants. I think we spotted a sushi bar even. There was another asian food market place, but I can't remember where it was or what the name was either. I'll have to ask Ari again and see if we can make it down there sometime.

We stopped at Aldi's next for a breather. The sun was really kicking us hard out there and we still needed directions. Ari randomly asked s lady who was intently picking out fruit and only got a frightened stare. When she asked again the woman's husband came over and said, "No" very precisely. We think they might not have known English. We asked a cashier and got some other crazy directions, but at least these directions were the same way we were headed this time. Our next goal was to get to Townsend.

Another long walk and at least a half an hour later we took another break at an art store. I think it was called, "The Art Store." It was quite a nice place too. If I was more serious about art I would love to get some things in there. Sadly though, I'm just a hobbyist.

I saw a little boy in there who has the same Houghton t-shirt as I have. I won the shirt along with a few other people on an online quiz e-mail thing with the college. It's a small world?

I hope that my boyfriend is an artist.

The store was intriguing, and I think Ari does some painting, drawing, and possibly sculpting, so we spent some time breathing and snooping around. I would have liked to see the easles, but they were up a floor and I was just too tired to climb any stairs. Again, we checked for directions.

The lady was nice and pitied with us for having walked so far. She gave us straight forward directions and even offered us water. We were off again.

At some point in the trip we took a wrong turn. It must have been before the art store stop because after that we seemed to be going the right way. It was after the bench I think.

The bench. The one with the scotch in a paper bag. This one.



At this point we realized, like being hit by a tumbling rock, how far we had gone.

"That's the News Channel 10 place! That's the Carousel Center!"

Walking continued. Then finally.... we saw it.

Townsend! This meant we were actually going in the right direction!

So, after another long stretch we finally saw Washington St. (I should have taken a picture :() and we followed that road for a while until we reached Washington St. 100.

Which really wasn't 100 at all.



In the window on the left you can see that there's a banner for Roji Tea Lounge with a leaf shape made with what seems to be a long brush stroke.

By the time we got there it was 2:30, and then we realized that the lounge doesn't open until 3:00. But as we passed the window we saw a large group of people sitting at a table, so we went in.

The place was adorable. It's a lot smaller than what I thought it would be, but I like it better like that. It makes the room cozy. As you walk in there is a large table in the middle for large parties, a couch beyond that, two small tables that seat two each, and a Japanese table setting with a tatami mat where you even have to take your shoes off(there's a cute little sign with a picture of sandals crossed out).

We approached the woman behind the cash register(Tomomi, the owner) and asked if they were open but she said that the people in the room at the moment were from a private party and that they wouldn't open until 3.

So we waited. Right outside the window even. We just sat outside and rested for a while. By that time the sun had drown (as Ari would say it) and there was even a nice breeze. For the next half and hour we admired the architecture.

When it came closer to 3:00 we started counting the minutes, every once in a while asking if it was time to go in yet.

"2 more minutes."

Then when 3 came we realized we probably had to wait until they switched the sign from CLOSED to OPEN. Eventually though we got impatient and went in. The door doesn't directly go into the lounge so there is a room before you go in, which we hung out in for a bit for fear of making fools of ourselves again. There were some various business cards displayed on a table that we browsed through and there was also a large stand-up menu which we took a peek at.

We decided on trying Mochi for a snack and splitting the cost. Mochi... when I saw that I thought of the strawberry rice cakes I have, but they aren't the same thing, I assure you.

After Ari convinced me it was my turn to ask questions, we went in and inquired as to whether they had opened yet. They had and we were to choose any seat. Ah! The Japanese setting was perfect! We were quite excited.

The menus we were given were adorable. They were handcrafted and had images on each page. Tomomi was so sweet too. She couldn't walk on the tatami because she had shoes on, so she very gracefully sat on the side of the platform and kindly handed us our things.

Ari ordered Jasmine Bubble Tea and I ordered my favorite Taro Bubble Tea, and also the Mochi treats. Ari and I agreed that the trip was worth it.



When Tomomi brought us the mochi she asked us if we'd ever had it before. I was prepared to say yes, but then I saw the little green and white balls and was in a short state of shock.

We both tried the little mochi balls on the count of three, and were both quite surprised. The texture was... obsolete? They were smooth, like an egg, and when you bit down on it the ball was very cleanly cut, but then molded right back together. For some reason the taste instantly made me think of Smacks, the cereal. But I think that was the powdery stuff on the top more than the ball. I didn't like it at the time, but now I would like to try it again.

There was a girl who came in a bit later who actually asked us what we thought about the bubble tea because she was considering trying some herself. We left before she got it, so I wonder if she liked it.

As we were on our way out we asked about the Roji Tea t-shirt that was on display. Ari and I agreed that we would just simply have to get one. Unfortunatly, they only had mediums at the time, but they said they should be getting smalls in the winter.

That wraps up part one of the epic journey. Stick around for the second part of the day.

-Lisa

A Bright Future

Ah, I'm finally at an internet connection, and I don't really have the time to update anything. College life sure is draining. Or maybe I'm just a whimp. But I really feel like I don't have enough time to just sit around, which is what I would like to do a lot of.

For the first day or two ... or three .... I felt really sick. All of my stress went to my stomach. A lot has happened in the past week. Well, two weeks. Let's start with an entry I typed up August 21st.

----------------

Mom, call me at nana’s house

“Grandpa’s dead”

That’s what my mom spewed out after a shocking phone call upon our arrival. We had just returned from a shopping trip, one that I enjoyed very much as it was a time where I have my mom all to myself and we had a chance to do some exploring. We were both very tired as we got home.

Immediately we drove down to Nana’s house and parked among half a dozen other cars of family members. We entered a crowded kitchen. A silent kitchen.

I remember seeing my mom’s face as she blurted out “No!” on the phone. I very quickly thought, “It’s something about Grandpa” but as soon as it entered my mind it escaped. It’s strange how the body works though. Even though I had convinced myself in that second not to worry, I froze and waited for an answer.

I got it in the next second followed by trembling and numbness.

I didn’t really know what to do. As much as I wanted to cry, I couldn’t at that moment. The first thing that slipped out of my mouth was disbelief. “I don’t believe it.” I don’t know if I was denying it or in shock. It’s hard to tell. It took about 2 minutes and halfway down the road for my tear glands to respond. I guess they weren’t ready for this either.

We had all known that he wouldn’t be around for much longer. It’s like, the words “Death” were in our minds. Ever letter was crisp and vivid, but the reality of it was nonexistent. We thought we were ready. I did at least. But God doesn’t work on our calendar.

It almost hurts me that I can’t cry as I write this. Quite frankly, I don’t want to. My feelings are so mixed up that I don’t want to do anything. I guess this is still the after effects of it being so unreal. I just keep doing what I always do in these situations. I pray and then forget about it. I try to.

That’s cold, isn’t it? It’s the only way I can cope. To continue. I don’t want to be around crying people or pictures. For now, I just want to be alone and try to sort out some things.

“Lord, please take care of him.” That is the only thing I can pray.

While other people may have been praying for his recovery through his fight, I couldn’t. I knew that to survive death once would lead to a more tragic death the second time. Right now I don’t even know what I prayed for.

But you know… the whole time my family was together this afternoon, we all kept saying he’s better off. He’s in Heaven, and that is a beautiful thing. It’s something all Christians look forward to, and it’s something I wonder about. We know things for the scriptures, but what is it like to experience it? It’s like reading an advertisement for an amusement park. As exciting as they make it sound with the brochures, you can never fully experience the excitement until you’re there. It’s strange to think that someone so close is actually there now.

I’m still in the dark about things, and I don’t care to know the answers. All I know is that precious man is gone now and that is enough.

How we can become memories so quickly. This morning he made memories. This afternoon he became one.

I’m tired.

-Lisa

-----------------

I'd rather not expound on that for now.

So, college has been quite stressful, but then not too bad. My guts want me to write about all of my classes in painful detail, but for some reason I just can't seem to do it tonight. I want to write down everything, but maybe it's just too hard right now. I have a lot of homework that isn't getting done.

Here, how about some pictures.

This is what I had for breakfast on the first day here. I barely ate any of it though because I was so stressed out. Although, the food in the cafeteria is very good. I think I can live with it. Mmm... french toast.

Before:

After:

There's a reason why there is a before and after shot of my room. You see, before is when I had a roommate for a couple days, and after is after she left and I moved things around.

I couldn't figure out my roommate, and I still can't now that she's gone. When I first met her is was the second evening after freshmen moved in and she was sitting on her bed crying while her boyfriend tried to comfort her. I later found out that she was crying because of stress over the whole moving into a dorm idea. I could relate.

Actually, I related to everything. She was so miserable about the idea of living in a dorm, and at the time I was somewhere close to that category (although I managed to recover). After a couple long talks and what we will call "advise" she eventually decided it would be best for her to commute. I would too if I only lived 20 minutes away.

It was really just a big crisis for a couple days.

So, we were friends. I think mostly because of the long chats and the fact that neither of us had anyone else. We exchanged numbers but the only time we've talked was when she wanted me to bring her books down to her at the front of the building and when she was locked out of the room.

--

It's a little funny so I'm going to type up our phone conversation. Remember, I was in New Jersey at the time.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Lisa? This is Mary. Are you in the room?"

"No, I left for the weekend."

"Yeah, I know. See, my card isn't working for some reason. I don't know why, but I can't get in St. Mary's!"

"Hmm..."

"You know what, wait. -mummble- Okay, well, I was just wondering if you could let me in because my card isn't letting me in and I have no idea why."

"Well, I-"

"Okay, well, thanks. I'll see you in a little bit."

Did she not hear that I said I wasn't around? Well, when I came back Monday evening all of her things were gone (except the trash, a pen and pencil, and the air freshener) so must be she got in somehow. I wonder, why did she call me? Couldn't she have walked in when someone else was going through?

End.

-------

It's hard to figure out. I liked having her for a roommate because she was generally an easy person to talk to and was (for the most part) considerate. I liked how she kept to herself and wasn't running around the halls screaming or giggling everyone to death. She went to bed fairly early and complained about the people outside the room being too loud.

But then she was also just miserable and whined a lot. But that was just the circumstances too though. She also seemed to only need me when she needed me. It's too bad. I hope I'll see her around.

That's the end of the roommate saga. For now. Until then, I'm in a room by myself. Don't tell anyone. They might put someone else in here and I am quite enjoying the time by myself.

You know what? It's 11:30. I need to do some homework. There's plenty more to come, when I get the chance.

One thing though. Although I am coping, I really want to go home.

-Lisa

A little something made of metal

Again I'm stowing away for a bit at a friend's house for net use and can only leave you with an entry pre-written. As I've said many times before, I am going to get back on track with my usual entries including images and memory spots. Until then, please be patient with me.

Please remember that the second half of my post was written over a week ago.

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~Watch out for Steambot spoilers everybody ~
After playing as many RPGs as I have from my childhood till now, I find myself to be a fairly good judge of what makes a decent game. The average playtime for an RPG is around 50 hours, so by that you can generally tell when you are nearing the end of the game(if you couldn’t tell from the plot). To play for about 20 hours and then have an abrupt, unnecessary ending, I find that a bit… unsatisfactory.

For the past couple of days I’ve been playing Steambot Chronicles, and RPG that I was quite excited about when I first picked up the paddle. I was indeed fascinated with the personal gameplay in which even the very first line was decided by you. I find this thrilling actually to be able to build your own character in a game. Even if he still seems to turn out the same either way.

The music theme was also impressive. Just the fact that the whole music scene was incorporated the way it was was interesting and quite fun and addicting. I enjoyed playing in the streets for crowds more than battling in the arena. Not to mention that each instrument was very realistic in its handling. I was shocked when I first “tickled the ivories” and found that the way you operate it with the paddle feels like you are actually playing the piano. It was interesting to try out different instruments and find your niche. I especially enjoyed the cello and violin.

That’s basically all I can say for praise now. The “non-linear adventure” has ended for me, and I can’t say I was too pleased with the ending. Since it’s non-linear, I’m wondering if it must be one of those bad/good/best/weird ending type games. I hate those. If it is, I must have gotten the crazy, doesn’t really have anything to do with the game – ending.

Okay, really people, stay away because I’m giving everything away for a while.

The ending seemed to revolve around Dandelion and Savory, two characters I almost NEVER talked to or even saw in the game. Dandelion seemed like a mature young man who kept to himself, not because he was the crazy psycho type, but just because he was a busy guy who enjoyed his work. It’s true! As for Savory, she was in the band. Basil had some huge crush on her, and that was basically it for her existence. Chicory was thrown in on the side only when there was nothing else to do. Eventually you discover that Chicory knew Coriander (boyfriend? You never really find out) and was killed when he was waiting for her at the station. Mallow kicks him into the road, splat, he died, no one helped, and Dandelion, Chicory’s brother, is distraught.

Again, that’s basically it for that story. Up until the 20th hour (I played for roughly 21) I thought that Chicory would be brought up later into some bigger story, but I didn’t expect it to all be thrown in a blender for the last fifteen minutes to completely kill all other aspects of the plot.

Mallow tried to apologize to Coriander too, but she wouldn’t have any of it. After that sorry attempt he just fades into the background and we never see him again. He was supposedly Vanilla’s friend, although we don’t know where they met, how they became friends, and why NOBODY REALLY CARES VANILLA HAS AMNESIA! Did anyone else notice? Through the whole game I kept wondering if anyone was going to try to help me out at all. No, they just kept saying, “Ooooh, Vanilla, will you do me a favor?” Sure, let the lost, amnesic kid do all of the work. I haven’t got anything better to do!

Why were Vanilla and Mallow on the ship in the first place? Is there any significance in Connie’s mother’s illness? They built that up right at the beginning like there was going to be something important there, but that was another story that faded away. Does the necklace that was Chicory’s that was Mallows that became Vanilla’s have a purpose? Didn’t really think so. Does Fennel have any significance in the story? He showed up at the end to scold me for being a good-for-nothing, and then disappeared. He didn’t even make an appearance for the Grand Finale.
There’s one really funny thing about the end though. Besides the girl falling in front the guy to protect him (and gets killed for no reason) being so clichéd (this leads me to believe there was something sweet between the two, something that the game designers failed to tell us beforehand, leaving us dry-eyed and confused), did anyone even HEAR the gunshot? That was the WORST gun SFX I have even heard in my LIFE! Hoho… funny.

Continuing with my questions…

Why in the world did Dandelion want to kill me? Why did they kidnap Coriander and Mallow and put them on a blimp? Why didn’t Dandelion go after Mallow and his father instead? Was there a point to giving gifts to Connie if the game would end without anything really happening between the two? Through the whole game you’re built up to believe that they like each other (if you play that way and not like a snob or money-grubber) but then, like most other things, that gets dropped into a bottomless pit when Savory shows up. I’m assuming that Dandelion and Savory were in love, or at least Savory loved him because otherwise she didn’t seem like she would have wanted to destroy the world for herself.

Maybe it was because there were mountains of extra things you could do in the game that I didn’t do that made it seem so short. I was more interested in the plot than the stock exchange or digging up fossils. I kept thinking that towards the end of the game I would get around to doing some more exploring, but I didn’t really get the chance. It was also deceiving because at the beginning the city is taken over right away by some crazy group, so I thought that when it happened a second time it was just another step along the way to the real story.

Maybe I played wrong. Once I get to an internet source I’m going to look up a couple things to see if there really is a different ending. For now I’m in the end, cleared mode where I can look around and finish up some things after-the-fact. I’m doing the wild goose chase looking for Connie. I wonder where Vanilla went on the ship when he left. Where could he have gone? Unless he remembered who he was without telling the rest of us. He returns a year later with the same clothes on and the same food in his pockets! Apparently when you’re overseas you don’t have to pay rent but you don’t collect on stock either.

I was hoping that the flying Trotmobile would save some travel time… but I didn’t really get to use it. So many things are left unanswered and so many things were unnecessarily thrown together. I think the designers must have been so concerned with the music part and the extra fossil digs and bus station systems that they forgot they had to make a decent ending.
Perhaps I’ll have to make a retraction when I get some more info and play the after-ending a bit more. Until then, I’m leaving the console off for a bit and I’m going to let myself be disappointed for a while.

It did get a little depressing when I went to visit Dandelion’s apprentice, Tonio. The music was very sober and he said some… well, sad things. I don’t even remember what he said. But it was all ruined when I went to the gravesite and prayed, and for every prayer it gave me the same response! “Your prayer remains unanswered” Peh!

“I’m perfectly sane! I just want to destroy the world! Ahh hah hah hah!”

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Here are just a couple quick updates on what has been happening with me this summer. Again, I don’t have regular internet access, so it’ll be short and I probably won’t be able to update again until I get to college.

Actually, I’ll be leaving for college the 25th and classes start the 27th. That’s all I’ve been thinking about lately and I’m getting really nervous. I’ve always been quite content with the idea of being a college student. Mostly because the majority of my friends had all been in college and I have always seemed to be able to handle that atmosphere. But now that I’ve gotten to that point, they are moving on … without me it sometimes seems.
In other words, I miss Emily a lot.

I also feel like all people my age are absolute freaks or idiots. No matter how old I become, I’ve always liked the older crowd. Hopefully that will change when I finally meet new people.
Enough of that. I have to rush a bit because the girls are coming over at 10:00 for practice. We’re recording 5 projects starting on Monday of next week. It just hit me last night that that is a lot and we’re not ready at all. We had such a late start on them this summer and we didn’t actually start practicing until the middle of July. All we’ve had is 1 month to practice so we’ve been trying to get together twice a week. Although we’re … okay… we really stink at the same time.

We haven’t had any time for lyrics either. It’s going to be another one of those fumbled dances with fumbled words. My favorite.

I can’t say I’m not proud of them though.

I haven’t had much time to practice myself, which has really been bringing me down. At practice I can’t really help anyone out because I can’t even do my own steps. If we only had another week… Passion is what I’m really nervous about. How in the world can I learn those breakdancing-esque steps in a week? Sam knows her part pretty well so I feel kind of like a failure. I have to know it be next Thursday!

I still have four sets of costumes to finish… one set I haven’t even bought the material for.

It hasn’t helped that I’ve had weddings to record. I’m actually quite pleased with how Christie’s video turned out though.

I got two wedding jobs this summer to record and fancy up the wedding and receptions. One down, one to go. Miss Adamsen’s wedding scares me though. It’s going to be much more formal than Christie’s was, so I’m terrified actually. Her wedding is Saturday.

I wonder if there’s anything else I can say? That’s basically all that has been on my mind lately. College, projects, and wedding.

Isn’t the weather nice? I’ve been swimming a lot lately. Ahh… what a nice way to start August.
The middle of August is what I’m really looking forward to. For two weeks I’ll have nothing to do but edit bucket loads of videos. But at least I won’t have to go anywhere. Wouldn’t be nice to just have a day to relax? This summer seems to have been absolutely packed full and just crazy!
Asher has a job that he can use his artistry with now! For two weeks he’s going to be drawing coloring books for Dreamworks’ new movie, “Bee.” Is that the name? I’m excited and so is he.
I’d better wrap this up quick. Was there anything else?

Oh, I’m going to be getting contacts Monday. Hopefully. The doctor is kind of kooky so I hope he gets the right prescription. That’s the problem Kristi had so she didn’t end up getting them. The ones I put in during the learning session were great. I hope he didn’t change them. Getting those suckers in is a real pain. But getting them out is even harder. Goodness.

Sometime last week my Sunday School class went to a lake and we played in the water and had lunch, all the beachly type of things. Colette even brought a parachute. Yep. She said she got it at a garage sale just for fun. It was fun too. Everyone grabbed a set of rope and pulled while the wind was captured underneath it. Hah, it was a sight! We had plenty of spectators too.

Candy, Sam, and Bentley all tried my bubble tea and detested it. I figured they would, but I wanted to see their faces. (I love my bubble tea set! It makes me really sick because of the tapioca, but I drink it anyway.)

Trudy rolled in the sand when she was wet. “Hey guys, watch this!” What a clown. Then her Shannon and Candy proceeded to chase me into the water and throw me in.

Well, kids, that’s all for story time now. I’ve got places to be and plenty of work to do.

Memory 7 – Yellow for playful

I’ve been thinking about Jillian a lot lately because she left again this summer for the continentals. I wasn’t the happiest person alive when she left without saying a word to me, but I guess she had other things on her mind.

There’s this game we used to play on her porch when we were little and used to be around each other quite a bit more than we are now. We would sit on the porch swing and watch cars go by. She’d pick three colors and I’d pick a different three. For every car that went by that was one of our colors we’d get a point. I don’t know if we ever really kept track of the points or when we decided on a winner, if we did at all. That was a good game though. We’ve had some good times on that porch. I’ll tell you next time.

-Lisa

An Update

I'm at Shannon's house right now borrowing the wireless connection from next door. I don't want to spend too much longer here though because ... well, I didn't exactly ask to come into their house.

From the looks of it we won't get any net service until at least september, and by then I'll be at college anyway. So I guess I'll just be making special trips around town to sit in the car and "borrow" some wireless all summer.

Here's a post I wrote a few days ago and saved waiting for an opportunity to get it published. I'm going to malone this afternoon, and possibly tomorrow too so I might be able to update then also. See you!

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I am currently typing from my brand new Toshiba laptop. Her name is Haru and she is a model Satellite A205, with and Intel Core 2 CPU T5300 @ 1.73 Ghz. If you care about all of these crazy numbers, it also has 2038 MBs of RAM and a 32-bit operating system. The best part is the 200 GB drive.

The first day was just the initial set-up, but by the second day I had the drive completely full. Most people looked at me with this disgust in their eyes and asked how in the world I could have so much junk to put on a brand new machine. Most people also don’t realize how much room raw video takes up. The first 100 GB was the “It’s Not Too Late” movie footage with the complete three performances and the many hours of filming. That’s what I really wanted in a laptop. Room to work. It’s much easier to work when the files are in front of you and not on a separate drive or disc. That’s a real pain.

I wish I could check my blog so I could see my list of things I was going to talk about. I think I can remember a few things. It’s about time I wrote my thoughts down. My internet is still out of commission so I’ll be typing this, probably for several days, and then uploading it when I get around to someone else’s house. In my complaints section (yes, I need to make a section for that now or I might go completely loony) I will definitely list that among others. It’s prevented me from a lot of work that is desperate to be finished. But I’ll leave that for later.

The Word program I’m using is very fancy and quite pretty, but it’s missing out on some good old fashioned Word features. I wonder if I just haven’t set them up right.

For days I’ve had so much to say and write about, but it’s always when I finally sit down to get things in order that I forget what I was about to say.

Mom and I have been watching Fushigi Yuugi for the past couple of weeks. Right now we’re in the 30’s somewhere. Taiitsukun just told Miaka she had to sleep with Nakago to get the Shinzaho back. This is one of the scenes I would have preferred to skip. Of course, I know the outcome, but I have to wonder what Mom is thinking. I’m basically content with watching this with her though. I don’t quite know how to describe this. I guess I’ll just say it this way. There are some naughty scenes in the 52 episodes, something that is a little hard to be avoided when one girl is traveling with seven men. But I’m not worried about those scenes because I know my mom won’t judge me about them. She’s not going to say something like, “Goodness, what kind of movies do you watch!” She knows me. That’s the best way I can put it. Anyway, she really likes the series. That makes me happy. I love watching anime with her. Right before this we finished Now and Then, Here and There. Wonderful!

Friday night I graduated from highschool. I was going to put that first on my list on things to blog about, but I’d forgotten already. The ceremony was actually decent. Although, I did space out a couple times, I managed to stand up whenever I was supposed to. I did walk the wrong way after getting my diploma though. Stupid girl. I got a few awards too. I really wasn’t expecting any, but once I received a few I was secretly and greedily hoping for more. I think I got four, mostly for creativity. All for creativity actually.

All in all, it was relatively short and painless, the complete opposite of the rehearsal. I was totally ready to leave that awful place and those obnoxious jerks by the end. While others cried through the whole thing, I couldn’t stop twitching, anxious to get out of there.

My grandparents even went to see me. I was happy about that. That’s something that was on my list to write about. My grandpa. A while back he was diagnosed with cancer, but he underwent surgery and several treatments and it appears they got most of it out. It was a tumor on his brain I think. Well, sometime after everything seemed somewhat okay, he had what appeared to be a seizure. I don’t know all of the details, but Nana called that night sobbing and I didn’t know what to do. That night was crazy and Grandpa had to stay in the hospital for several weeks I think. I never went to visit. Quite frankly, I didn’t want to see him skinny and weak. I wanted to remember him as gruff, cranky grandpa with an occasional laugh or smile at me. I didn’t want to see him old. Eventually I saw him when he got back home. Although he hasn’t talked much since then, he seemed basically alright when I saw him. He calmly would respond to me and smile.

We stopped by and saw them after the ceremony because they left right away. Grandpa was determined to open a plastic package with some kind of sweet in it, but couldn’t. Nana quickly opened it for him, but since he’d already gotten the scissors out, he figured he would do the job himself anyway and cut the package a little just to prove he could. I thought I would cry. I love him so much. I can see where I got my stubbornness.

My graduation party was actually a lot of fun. While the vast majority of the people were over 60 years old and I didn’t know their names, I enjoyed myself. I wore my pretty ebay/Chinese dress (I posted a picture a while ago when I was thinking about buying it). I wrote to the girl who sold it to me a complained about the skirt not being ruffled like in the picture, but she said something like, “Oh, pictures are always better!” But… the skirt was completely flat with only one thin cotton strip. The dress in the picture obviously had much more fabric and was not made from cotton. I like the dress a lot, but it’s clearly not the one I thought I was buying.

Right, back to the party. Several people showed up from school. That was nice. Some of them were over for Jill’s going away party too. Yvonne came up with the idea and somehow most of the responsibilities fell in my lap and the party was at my house. About ten out of the 40 people invited came, and we all missed when Jill came so the surprise part was really dull. That was kind of the second surprise for her. The first was at the I WISH recording. I baked her a cake and decorated it with cherry blossoms and wrote “Sayonara” on it. That was for graduating from Shojo Explosion.

The best part was watching Trudy play eyetoy. She’s so long and gangly she can’t control herself.

I gave Jill the scrapbook I’d been working on for several weeks. She really loved it. That was nice. I was kind of hoping she’d cry. Aren’t I awful?

I’m watching part of the Wonderful Hearts 2006 Summer concert and C-ute is singing something quite adorable. I’ve never kept up with them, and I doubt that I’ll ever be really interested. There’s one girl who gives me the annoying chills. She’s the tallest in the group and there’s no question that she has to be the eldest in the group considering her blossomed form compared to the rest. How old are those girls? 9-12? I wish I could go to a Morning Musume concert. The one I would have wanted to go to would be Yosse’s graduation. I’ve still only seen clips from that. After that, what I’ve seen from Morning Musume has be very disappointing. I haven’t been too obsessive since she left. It’s like she was the last thing tying the group together. After she left everything fell apart. I’m not against Chinese, but I wasn’t terribly pleased with the decision to bring in two Chinese girls to the group. It just doesn’t mix. I’m sure they’ll be great, but it’s completely changed the face or Morning Musume. I only hope that Kamei can fight against change and keep herself true.

Did a girl graduate from Berryz Koubou? Or was she sick or injured for the concert? In the extra part with Tsuji she’s there though. Hm, I wonder what happened. If I could get to the internet, I would check.

I have to wonder if Fujimoto will stay as the leader for long. She’s in another group too, so I don’t know how she can keep up with all of those responsibilities. Sometimes Miki makes me think of Leigh.

How long has Takahashi been there? She’s up to be the next leader. She’ll no doubt be a soloist when the time comes. I wonder what path Kamei is going to take when she graduates?
There have been so many changes in MM over the years, but now it’s getting kind of ridiculous. It’s like the agency feels like it has to change just because it always does. The member changes aren’t for any particular reason now, it’s just that it’s expected.

I know this isn’t all accurate, but it’s how it appears. The Chinese girls intervention wasn’t for the group, it was for politics. I guess that’s what really gets me. I wouldn’t be surprised if my interest in MM completely faded. The old days were the shining days, and now they have grown somewhat dull. I’m still not used to Koharu.

Did anyone else think that Mitsui’s arrival was really soon after Koharu’s?

Well, enough of that. Morning Musume will always have a place in my heart.
I’m having a hard time talking about anything interesting tonight, and it’s been so long too I should at least say something worth reading.

I’ll talk about college for a bit then.

I went to orientation last week and was so sick I just wanted to turn around and go home within the first hour or the trip. We stopped at a Walmart somewhere before Watertown so I could walk around for a while. It helped and I was mostly okay for the rest of the trip. When I couldn’t eat anything though I knew I would be sick that night.

The whole day was quite boring and very disheartening. Actually, I hated it. I did manage to talk to three people though. Well, two, if “Do you mind if I sit next to you?” doesn’t count.

The first girl was Molly. She was really nice and seemed like someone I could depend on, or at least talk to when no one else was around. She was completely lost on the financial aid section, as was I, so we found common ground quickly. She seems like she might have been a geek at her highschool, possibly even labeled as shy, so there was something else I could relate to. I was disappointed when we were separated to. I thought we could cling to each other throughout the day and help each other out.

Soon after Molly was taken away with another group, I met Gina. Right away she reminded me of Emily. I can’t even really pinpoint why, but that’s the way things usually go. Some of it was in the way she spoke. She has very dignified words and spoke with a clear head. I saw her quite a bit throughout the day, but I didn’t want to be overbearing, so sometimes I wouldn’t approach her, although during the Spanish placement test I found her again and we fretted over the test together.

The day’s activities ended and Mom and I rushed out to the shopping centers in which we were both disappointed. For some reason the mall wasn’t spectacular like it has been the first time. It was mostly escalators that lead to large, empty halls and three different kinds of cell phone and other electronics stores.

By the end I was totally drained and devastated. The day had been so awful, although I can’t really remember why. Perhaps it was the seclusion. After being around 60 people all day I felt so alone. I wonder if that was it.

This sounds sissy, but I was going to sleep in Mom’s room in those nice apartments. I blame my weakness on illness though. If I hadn’t been so sick I think I would have survived on my own. But by the time we actually found her room the door wouldn’t open. We stood there for a good ten minutes trying to get the card and key combination to work. In the end we decided that Mom would have to sleep in the dorm that night. Luckily I got a corner room with a single bed and a bunk bed. Unfortunately, that meant I would now have to sleep on the top bunk since my roommate had already claimed the regular bed with her Victoria’s Secret tote.

It was absolutely scorching in that room and I forgot to bring a fan. The window opened a good 5 inches and only on one side. I was glad that corner rooms have bathrooms because every couple of minutes I could go in the bathroom and drench myself with stale tap water. After we finally got settled I laid down and watched most of Howl’s Moving Castle, the whole time worrying about how my roommate would react to coming in and finding another person in the room. It actually terrified me. I already knew what I was going to say when she entered. “Hi, this is my mom. Her key wouldn’t work so she’ll be in here for tonight.” It was really simple, but every time I heard a door slam my stomach dropped, which wasn’t all that comforting that night.
I finally fell asleep for an hour, but my music woke me up. You come to a complete loss when even your music makes you sick. My roommate came in some time after that (around 1:30am. She must have been outside screaming with the rest of the floor) and my mom exclaimed, “Natasha!” For a split second I wondered what Natasha was doing here, but I came to my senses and gave the girl my rehearsed explanation. She was nice. I figured she would be, but I couldn’t control my fear. I probably should have done a lot more praying that day than I had.

After she came in I felt worse so I took my things and went out into the mini-lobby. It wasn’t really a lobby. Just a little opening in the hall with a couple chairs and couches. I sat on the couch and stared at the battered, tiled ceiling listening to the fledglings outside scream their little heads off. Eventually, Gina came strolling by and stopped to see what I was up to. I wished I could have told her I was sick, but I can’t even think of the word when I feel like that so I think I responded by just saying I was thinking. She sat across from me on the other couch which was quite a ways away which made me realize that we still really didn’t know each other. I felt like such a geek because I was in my bathing suit top and I was a total mess from feeling so ill.

Apparently, her roommate was still on her silly cell phone talking to what must have been at least every person in a small country and Gina had gone to watch a movie hoping the girly girl would be done by the time she got back. It turned out she was still on the phone though and went back to finish the movie. I didn’t see her when she came back up, but I felt a little better after talking to her and was able to fall asleep on the couch. Couches are always so nice, especially compared to those awful cots. I think I woke up a couple times and saw people walking by, but it might have been a dream since I don’t remember opening my eyes.

By the next morning, 6:30am, I felt the same. I couldn’t move for a while. As hard as I tried I just couldn’t get up. Eventually though I managed and got dressed. Mom was up before me so after I tried to compose myself (and taking a peek at my roommate who sleeps with her lips open but not her jaw) we walked outside for what seemed like forever. Around 8:00 we found someone who looked like she knew what she was doing and asked if we could somehow get my writing placement test done early so we could leave. I was speechless through the whole process of getting my test done and seeing my advisor early just because it was the easiest problem we’ve ever dealt with. The administration was so kind to me and took me in like their own child, wanting the absolute best for me. On my test they even had me write a note saying that I was ill so I would be scored lightly. I was ecstatic. I’ve never had someone take my illnesses seriously and caringly. Through my session with my advisor she would periodically ask me how I was holding up. All through highschool when I was ill they would just tell me to put up with it. I am so pleased with the administration.

After the placement test we hoped in the car and headed home (I hope I scored well on it. It wasn’t really my type of topic and it was only a 600 word essay, so I don’t know if I really developed my ideas all that well). It’s just like when you wake up to go to school. You can be feeling so totally wretched, but once you decide to stay home you begin to feel better. Well, I wouldn’t stop babbling until we got to Watertown. I even munched on some breakfast.

After that the trip had basically ended and I was happy again. I slept through a lot of the car ride which I felt a little guilty about because Mom was really tired too, but I couldn’t have driven even if I wanted to. I tried to help her stay awake when I was too. We generally just yelled out random things in an obnoxious tone to keep ourselves occupied.
I know I’m not going to be prepared this August. I always thought I was fully prepared for college. But… I know I’ll be homesick. It’s something that can’t be stopped. But I thought I was stronger than this.

Time for something to remember.

Memory – 006? Purple for nostalgia and orange annoyance

When I was very young I used to always be in the children’s choir at church. That night was always so exciting. I remember being in my red velvet dress and being in the cool car watching
the snow piles closely as we drove past them on the way home.

The concert was fun, although the only one I remember is when I was too young to sing in it but was a cow or donkey instead. I got bashed on the head right in front of everyone and got really mad. I suspect someone from the back was trying to get me to behave. It wasn’t really my fault I was whispering. Natasha was talking to me the whole time and I remember she was trying to bribe me with a cookie over something. After I was rudely attacked by whoever it was that hit me, I up and left the stage and sat with my mom.

It was the ride home that is the real nostalgic part. It was the coolness on my stocking covered legs and the frigid breeze as we walked out of the church. It was the ride home in the car when I couldn’t stop smiling because I was proud of myself for my accomplishment and my parents complimented me on my energy or cuteness. I would lean forward in my seat so I was almost right next to them and hold onto my legs as I smiled and listened to them chat.
I miss those chilly, chatty nights.

-Lisa

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Calm and Collective

Now that I've had some time to think and have more than 10 minutes to discuss I think I can almost safely give you some gory details about what's been going on with The Pair.(of underwear! -still a kid-)

Everything changed after I had my surgery, which part of me is particularly ticked with. Why is it that things change when you're unconscious?

Although Sam took the responsibility to ask her closest friends what they thought about her dating a guy, I think at the time we were looking at a different picture than her.

Do you like this painting?
Um, sure, why not?

We were foolish to think that we were talking about the same thing. She wasn't asking, can I date this guy, she was asking if we'd still be her friends if she did. I'm sure that was subconscious.

Even though I said I wanted to elaborate, I still want to keep this somewhat quick and simple. Quite frankly, I don't want to just spew my thoughts everywhere all over everyone and than regret it later.

Let's talk about Sam first, and I hate to be a gossiper, but if I can't get these thoughts out I might just melt into a smelly lump of coal.

Boys are boy and girls are girls. Seems to me that Sam thinks that because she's a Christian and he's a Christian that everything is supposed to be okay and that whatever they do it fine because they're serious.

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Whew, sorry about the sudden break. I didn't time myself very well and the period ended before I could finish. It's 11:49, May 23rd now. Let's see if I can wrap this up.

Now, where was I....?

I've been dumping on people lately to keep myself sane, and someone told me (two people actually), "It's hormones." It's true. I guess when people sit in the seat they feel like they have to drive, so they do what they're told. The thing that irks me is that she's told me several things that I think should be an obvious "NOT GOOD" sign, but I've never been able to understand how she sees things.

She said he told her he only started sitting with us at lunch is because he knew she wouldn't date him if they weren't friends first, so that's why he started being nice to her. That tells me that he didn't really care to be her friend before he got this bright idea, and he's just working by strategy to win her. To her he has more smarts than other guys who have asked her out.

Three days before Prom she was talking to me... she said they she did not want him to kiss her. I heard it. She said those words very clearly. I thought I'd die when I saw them sucking each others lives out. I guess she changed her mind.

That's the thing though. She just lets him do whatever he wants and doesn't tell him anything otherwise. I never really expected to see her sitting on his lap... ever. But it's a bit shocking when he's giving her a massage and they get in trouble for PDA when they haven't even been dateing for two months. Kids these days.

I've been skipping lunch lately because it's sickening to watch them stare at each other so shallowly and barely say a word. I keep wondering if they've noticed that I give them the cold shoulder whenever they're together. I don't think I've looked him in the face since the first performance of the play, and whenever he makes and effort to strike up a conversation, I shoot it down.

I wonder.

Which leads me to him.

I've never really liked him. He was tolerable before though. Eugh, I really don't want to go into that.

As I said, I try to avoid him as much as possible. If you asked him, "Do you hate Lisa?" of course he'd say, "No," but if you said, "Ugh, isn't Lisa a pain?" he'd shyly look around and say, "You think so too?"

"Do you like Lisa?"

"Not particularly."

I don't really care, I don't like him either. Sometimes when Sam has floated away from his ever present hands we're stuck in an awkward situation. Ever time he starts out with the same words...

"So, Lisa, what's up?"

And I very coldly respond, "Oh, nothing."

Then that is the end.

They're quite boring, just like any other highschool relationships I've seen. Maybe they don't realize that couples usually have something in common, or that they probably have to talk sometimes about things other than pain, sickness, and events. What about the things you like? What about your lives?

Oh, I forgot, you gave up those things to stare at each other. Sorry.

He really just keeps her all to himself. I let Sam know that I was upset about her leaving me at lunch and at my locker. Everyday before that we had walked together, and then without warning she is gone to walk with some gangly, slobbery boy. So, apparently another rule of highschool couples is that you can't walk with your boyfriend and your best friend at the same time. Not that I care now. I don't want to be near him.

When I talked to her about it she simply said, "Well, you're slow sometimes." I'm always slow, but that didn't matter to her until they became one.

His friends don't even like it. There are several different types of jokes. Some of those have truth to them, but are spoken in an atmosphere in which no one will take it personally. This is what his friends have been doing. "You know, you took my best friend away." or "I wish you hadn't changed so much."

You know what his responses to this were?

"I've matured, dude."

Barf.

What kind of retard says to his friends he's matured when he's just the same person he was the day before? How can anyone, with a sound mind, go up to someone and say, "I've matured." Isn't that just like a child saying, "I'm not a kid!!"?

Sometimes I imagine myself giving him a whopping fist in his face or chucking whatever I'm holding at him. I even plan it out sometimes. Like, I'll wait until this song ends, or I'll wait until the bell rings, so it won't cause so much of a hassle. But then there would be a lot to deal with afterwards, and I don't want to go through that.

He stole her away. She's his trophy. I don't know if he's really thinking this, or if it's just me seeing something in my eyes.

I hardly saw Sam at the Prom. The two of them were usually in the hallway, cuddling. Or if they finally found the dance floor again, he would wrap his slimy arms around her and pull her away from the group as much as possible. Then he trapped her and took her.

I wonder if she still wears her purity ring.


That's all the complaining for now. I'll really get back on track soon with everything less stressful. I just have to get over this bump first and get the internet back.

Sorry for all the strain. I'll be back in a couple days to tell you the good things about Prom and get that list done.


Surprise Going Away Party at my house, 2:00 for Jill. Bring food!

-Lisa