There are a couple quick things I just want to spew on my page tonight. These are things that should be discussed in much more detail than I am willing to go into at this point.
Point 1:
I'm single. No, it wasn't easy. No, I haven't forgotten anything. No, I'm not cold-hearted. I'm just not letting this stop me from moving on with my life. When something is over, let it go. It's over. By hanging on, you'll only end up choking someone. The tread will get thinner and thinner and will finally snap. You have to get on stable ground and just let go.
Point 2:
I'm bitter. Towards what? Men and relationships. Friendships that become dangerously intimate.
Point 3:
I'm very easily irritated, especially RIGHT NOW.
Point 4:
I feel like an open book. No, an open body. The way things are now, I feel as though my stomach has double doors on it and they are open leaving all the guts to spill out. I don't like that feeling at all. Stop looking at me like that. Leave my guts alone, will you?
Point 5:
I've been pretty happy lately. That's good. That's great, actually. I'm becoming a bit more stable lately. Well, a couple nights ago a had a full fledged breakdown and sobbed all over Ari (who very graciously allowed me to be as snot-nosed as I pleased). I kind of feel like I could quite easily do that right now, but I'm far to bitter to and far to bored with being sad.
Point 6:
Got to talk to Jeff, the comic guy, for a while tonight. That was cool. He's fun.
Point 7:
I need to leave Le Moyne. There's no way I can graduate from here and feel confident that I'll have gotten what I wanted out of four years in college. I don't want to leave Ari though...
Point 8:
Went to the Syracuse Heroes Expo over the weekend. Such great fun. I'm looking forward to next year. Maybe I'll dress up as Tifa this time. Photos are to come when I'm good and ready.
Point 9:
There is no point 9.
Point 10:
Something feels very wrong. I'm getting a horribly strong feeling that we're being attacked. We being me and my friends. Somehow, it all revolves around me, though. Everyone is getting hurt and their feelings are being beaten because of something to do with me. I'm... quite frankly, sick of this. It's an issue that just needs to go away. There's no explanation, there's no solution. I can't do anything about it anymore. It just needs to go away now. I realize that the whole world revolves around this idea that leaving a problem is running away from it. What is the big deal about escaping something bad? Things just change. If there's nothing good to come from something, why bother sticking around? The idea of "running away" is too cliche and meant to stay in the stories and movies. Deal with your problems and forget about it. There are too many things to miss in this world if you're sulking.
Oh, got a little rant-y there.
Goodnight. I'm fine.
-Lisa
Tea with Demons
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Posted by Lisa at 12:40 AM
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