Smile? No good.
I haven't heard anything from Hiroto in a long time. In fact, it's been 3 months since he last wrote to me. I've been getting kind of worried thinking, "What if he got hit by a car?" or "Did Okinawa have another hurricane that I don't know about?" It makes me sound kind of like a worried mother. But really, if something happened to him, who would think to let the pen pal know? If anyone even knew about me, that is...
I've written to him twice I think since he stop replying. He's probably just really busy with work. I don't know what he does for a job, but at one point it required him to go to Kobe for 6 months. He was really busy during that time and his letters were short. English is hard for him too. He can speak it quite well, but he still takes him a while to try to translate things and figure out the meaning of a phrase. Heh, he was so cute the first time he wrote back to me. When I signed my name at the end of the letter, I wrote a little "rawr!" at the end. He wrote back asking what "rawr" was. When I explained it was the sound a lion makes, he told me the Japanese terms for animal sounds. I think for a lion it was "gao." Or maybe that was a dog. Meow is "nyan!" I never imagined sounds being traslated differently.
Yesterday I sent him an e-card through my hellokitty mail because it notifies you when the recipient opens it. I got the message that he opened it today, so at least I know he's okay. I don't mind that he can't write much, I just like to know he's still there.
But honestly, I do the same thing. It takes me forever and a kick in the pants to write back to someone. I write better at night, but I'm so tired I usually don't start letters. I should though. Maybe I'll write to Emily tonight. I do owe her a reply.
I've been getting excited about the warm weather. I even wore capris one day! It's hard not to immediatley throw on a tank top and shorts when the snow melts, even though it's still quite cold outside. This weather is nice though because it's not too warm for scarves, but you don't need to put on so much that you can't move. I like light layering. I went out today with just a t-shirt and jeans(and my loverly brown scarf with the pink flowers ;]).
When I got in the car I even smiled because I was so happy that this weekend has been bright and quiet. But.... then I got to the bottom of the driveway and found a hit raccoon in the road. He was still breathing, but when I poked him with a stick he didn't even flinch. His big black eyes wouldn't look at me, but they were blinking slowly. I wished it was still cold, lifeless winter so the animals wouldn't come out into the road and people wouldn't drive so fast around corners. I couldn't help but wonder if Cami was still like this when he was hit. I rubbed the stick over his back for a while because I didn't think it would be smart to actually pet him. He was in such an akward spot on the road that there wasn't really a way to not hit him again if a car came, so I decided I had to move him. What I really wanted to do was put him in the car and take him to the vet. Maybe it was just some broken bones that could be healed with time, or maybe he was just in shock. But I knew I couldn't. I don't even know where the vet is, or if they take wild animals.
I went back to the house as fast as I could, hoping that no cars would go by while I was gone. I threw on a heavy coat(for safety, not that he could do anything to me) and grabbed some gloves. When I got back down he was still in the same spot. I wondered if any cars would stop for me if they came and saw me bending over in the middle of the road. I lost myself as I got closer and nearly started hyperventalating when I touched him. It might have been better if he flinched, but he didn't move at all, he just kept blinking. I thought he might be too heavy for me to lift, but I'll never know, because I didn't pick him up. I was so afraid I would hurt him that I only got my fingers under his body. I kept talking to him too, asking him if I was hurting him and if it was alright if I moved him. I don't think he heard me though.
I wonder why I couldn't move him? I'm such a coward. I drove to my uncle's house, hoping he was home. When he came to the door he must have known something was up. I had to talk really quietly so my chin wouldn't quiver. I hate how it does that when I'm going to cry, because then people ask, "Are you going to cry?" and I do. He felt bad too and said he was heading that way anyway, so he would get a shovel and move him off the road. Why hadn't I thought of a shovel? I don't think I would have been able to do it anyway.
When I got back in the car I immediately started crying. I think it's because when I was telling my uncle about what was going on he asked, "Is he suffering?"
On the road I saw five blood and guts marks on the road in less than fifteen minutes. I don't think I like driving in spring.
Er... I might never get this post up. I'm so frustrated with this stupid starband connection. I've lost several paragraphs already and the pictures won't upload.
I've been baking a lot lately. Cookies, cakes, pie... I've always been a terrible cook, but I've been working really hard at it lately. I tried aplets first, and it turned out like mushy apple insides and fried skins. Gross. Actually, we think the recipe was wrong because it really didn't make sense. I'm going to try again sometime though.
The strawberry cake in the picture looked really good, but mine was lopsided. I made it though! Well, I bought a pound cake and cut it into three layers with frosting and strawberry slices inbetween. Then I globbed chocolate on top and popped on some strawberries. It would have been better if the strawberries were fresh rather than thawed because they made the insides soggy. The chocolate was... ah, nevermind. It wasn't the worst but it wasn't the best.
Ugh, I'll edit this later and put the pictures in. UGH!
I'll have to end here. I wrote things earlier, but when they were lost, I feel like I can't write them again. Thoughts can only be spilled once.
Memory 004 - Gross orange for uneasy
I wonder which birthday it was. 15th I think. Since my 18th birthday is coming up, I thought I might write this one down. Well, I spent the night at Sam's the night before, and it was really rough. I don't remember what we did that day(probably roleplayed. Back then, it used to be a lot of fun.) but I remember that night vividly. I say vividly, but it still seems dreamlike, like all of my memories.
Well, Sam's day either called or was there and yelled at her(I think it was the later) and threw her into a cleaning/crying rage. I remember laying on her low bed and staring at the pictures on her ceiling while she ran from room to room tossing things where they should be. The poster's image had been burned into my mind because I was in that position for so long. The three wise men. A star. There was a bible verse underneath it I think. There were streamers on her ceiling too from a gift. I remember she put them up there because I had something like that on my ceiling in my old room.
Eventually, after and hour or so, Sam's mom came in and said that my birthday hadn't really turned out all that great so far and asked me if I just wanted to go home. I said yes, but she must not have heard me, or she ignored me. Sam calmed down after a while, and I think the rest of the night was mediocre since I don't remember it.
(Side note, purple for longing) When we were younger, Sam and I were inseperable. We still are now, but it was different back then. We were... really good friends. There were plenty of times when I got sick of her whining and selfishness, but even so, we had a bond. There were long nights of nothing but movie watching and popcorn munching. We roleplayed endlessly. We were a pair.
We're still good friends now, but it's almost like we're only friends because we have been. I don't feel like I can tell her everything like I used to. We're ... older. I was thinking, and if she was here right now, we'd probably be arguing. Not bitterly, but just quietly and in little spurts. I wonder if we would be friends if we hadn't been up until now.
So, the next day, Saturday, the day Sam and her mom clean the church, they took me along to the church and were going to take me home afterwards. Yay, cleaning. I guess I didn't mind too much though. I really just wanted to go home though. I saw my mom there, but instead of being confused, I was relieved. I immediately latched onto her and wanted to tell her everything so she could pity me. She wouldn't let me though and told me to go downstairs.
Have you ever had a surprise ready for you, but you resisted? It's like, someone bought you a car and it's right outside, but when someone tells you to look outside, you refused like there's no tomorrow. Weird, isn't it?
They finally got me to go downstairs, and there were tons of people waiting for me! I'd really never been so surprised. But you know, it was really weird. Of course, I acted like a freak, like I usually do in these situations, but I think it was fun. That part I don't remember.
Somewhere towards the end, Steve fell down the stairs, then he got his finger stuck in a desk. That's most of the part that makes me uneasy. Steve. I didn't really know him all that well, so why had Sam invited him? Her judgement scares me sometimes. He always made me uneasy, and still sort of does.
After he got out of the desk is where my mind stops remembering the rest. Maybe it was really better than that, but I could only remember the weird things.
-Lisa
